Self-Love Practice Areas
COACH’S NOTE
Self-love is extremely individualized and often best left to the client to define for themselves within the compassionate space held by a coach. The following practices are suggested resources to offer your client as you work through the relationship with self.
Places to continue growth and learning
Purpose: Embracing and empowering our relationship to ourselves to reach our full potential.
Individual
Build a playlist of your favorite love songs. As you play it, consider that you are the subject that the artist is talking about rather than another lover.
Journal entry: Why would I love myself unconditionally? What’s in it for me if I do? What’s in it for me if I don’t?
Define what Self-Love is for you.
Consider a research project around “how does one love themselves more?”. Learn and explore the topic just like you would nuclear physics.
Journaling - utilizing prompts (start here and add more of your own)
Eliminate external distractions to be with your thoughts. Maybe this looks like setting your phone in another room, turning off notifications for a few hours, or going on a nature walk.
Reflect… What is your relationship to the following words: “should”, “can’t”, “don’t”, “expectation”. How does this relationship hold you back? Can it set you free?
Books to check out:
Loving What Is by Byron Katie
Getting Real by Susan Campbell
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Untethered Soul by Micheal Singer
Darkside of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
Loveability by David Holden
Man Enough by Justin Baldoni
Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
How to Meditate by Pema Chodron
The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive by Kristin Neff and Christopher Nermer
To watch:
Collateral Beauty
Pursuit of Happyness
Eat Pray Love
To Listen:
Man Enough Podcast with Justin Baldoni
We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach
Mysticism and Reality by Alan Watts
When you are anxious, try this grounding exercise: identify one thing you can feel, one thing you smell, one thing you hear. Sit in the awareness of the present moment.
Heart Hold. Place your hand on your heart and repeat “I am safe, I am okay, I am loved” or any other message you need to hear.
Go on a nature walk and take pauses throughout to feel the vibration of love.
List out your insecurities- then create a plan on how to accept or love them. Notice the shift in perspective and acceptance.
Stand and look in the mirror stating all the things about yourself that you love. (This is hard but worth it and takes practice)
Serving others. This can be a profoundly fulfilling way to feel love within yourself. Maybe it is volunteering at a local organization or simply visiting an elderly neighbor for coffee.
Talk to someone you love. Oftentimes by talking to others, our own greatness is reflected back to us. Maybe you give an old friend a call, or go and have a visit with a family member or mentor.
Take a designated amount of time each day that they chose to unplug and connect with themselves. Many people pick morning coffee time or end of day routines. Attaching it to an already daily habit is helpful for consistency.
Write down 3-5 things you are grateful for at the start or end of each day. Keep a journal, notepad, or note section in your phone designated to this.
Find a mindfulness practice that works for you. Maybe it is downloading a meditation app (Headspace, Calm, etc.) or finding a journaling routine.
Take time to spend alone. Practice being comfortable with yourself when you are by yourself.
Walk. Create space for thought. Negative cycles of self-talk are often perpetuated by the activities of our everyday lives - to break the cycle you gotta step out of it. Give yourself an arm's length from your day and let the thought cyclone tire itself out before you try to fight your way through it.
Sunlight. The positive mind and body-enhancing effects of sunlight can make a major difference in our state of mind.